Bridesmaid Dresses Hall Of Horror

In the olden times, bridesmaid dresses served a purpose, steeped in superstitions as that purpose might be. The bridesmaids all dressed alike to thwart both jealous evil spirits and jealous ex-lovers with mean spirits – with dresses so alike, all of them would have a hard time distinguishing and flinging curses and crap unto the bride. Today, you can choose not to dress like your bridesmaids. Indeed, you are advised to make yourself beautifully stand out from your bridesmaids because you, after all, are the star of show. But that does not mean that you can inflict the dowdiest, tackiest, most horrible, most God-awful bridesmaid dresses on them to achieve stardom! That said, here are the craziest ideas you must avoid at all costs. That is, if you want your bridesmaids to be there at your wedding.

Shiny, Metallic Materials

Shiny, glossy satin is the main culprit here though those metallic dresses come in a very close second. If you are to look closely at shiny and metallic materials, you will be reminded of two disparate visions: first, the glossy satin vestments worn by church choir members; and second, the glittery costumes of showgirls in Las Vegas casinos. Need you think more?

Big Bows, Ribbons and Ruffles

Nobody looks good in bows, ribbons and ruffles galore, not even your cute-as-a-button flower girls! And if you make the mistake of having your bridesmaid dresses swathed in big bows in front or back (not even J.Lo with her derriere can pull that hip-hugging bow, honey), Christmassy ribbons all over the skirt or bodice (might as well hang little puff balls there), ruffles cascading like waterfalls (that is so passé), do not be surprised when your bridesmaids develop feelings of pure hatred for you and let evil spirits curse you to damnation.

Filmy and Flimsy Materials

Sure, chiffon is a nice touch for the ethereal effect. However, if your bridesmaid dresses are nothing but two layers of chiffon, then you are setting up your bridesmaids for serious doses of humiliation, inconveniences and jeers. Besides, your wedding is not one adult sleepover!

Cleavage-Baring, Back-Baring, Leg-Baring Seductress’ Garbs

Your wedding is a beautiful, time-honored ceremony to unite two people in love in holy matrimony till death do you part. (Or at least, till divorces do you part) It is neither a showcase for wardrobe malfunctions, nor a venue for peeping Toms to ply their perversity, nor a stage for late-night seduction, nor a setting for burlesque shows.

Well, okay. You can have one sexy touch on your bridesmaid dresses. Just remember that too much of anything is toxic and that includes too much skin while too little of anything is also toxic and that includes too little cloth. Just keep it simple but sexy.

Head Gear Here, There and Everywhere

Sure, that hat worn by Sarah Jessica Parker for the London movie premiere of “Sex and the City” was spunky. And Princess Diana did look adorably cute with her proper English hats on! Still, this does not mean in any way that you can have outrageously-designed and enormously-sized hats, too. Think of what those would do to the view of the altar and, consequently, you!

Ultimately, your bridesmaid dresses should reflect the very careful consideration you poured into your wedding dresses. Make your bridesmaid as beautiful as you are because someday they might return the favor!